photo courtesy of Eater

I finally broke into the Momofuku empire (more like totalitarian dictatorship) a few weeks ago with a trip to Noodle Bar. The relentless snowstorm that day caused the little eye makeup I was wearing to smear and clump, which I was unaware of until the spiky-haired waiter served me water with a stare of repulsion. I’m clearly not cut out for the likes of David Chang and overpriced pork buns.

Though the weather outside was frightful, I decided to man up and sample the obscure soft-serve flavors. The smoked maple ice cream was my favorite part of the meal — the soft-serve was ridiculously creamy and melted in my mouth in milliseconds, its flavor slightly syrupy, subtly smoky, and complicated by crunchy, salted walnuts on top. A layer of protective paper gripped the cone a little too tightly — I think I may have ingested some glue along with the sugary waffle.

After this overall positive soft-serve experience at Noodle Bar, I’ve been itching to get my hands on some of the goodies at Milk Teat Bar. Situated next to Ssam Bar, Milk Bar’s interior is populated by long, high wooden tables meant for leaning only. Music plays loudly, and yuppies communally huddle around the counters sharing their pies, cakes, and ice cream. Though it smells tantalizingly sweet, the space is not the most accomodating environment for taking off your coat and staying a while with your buddies. Next time, I’ll order my dessert to go so I can sit and enjoy it in my apartment.

I ordered the snickerdoodle soft-serve with a side of hot fudge. Chang did it again — it was velvety in texture and tasted like a lightly salted cinnamon graham cracker. The fudge was thick and rich, though it’s served in a small plastic cup and must be manually applied. At $5 for a miniscule portion of soft-serve and an extra buck for hot fudge, that dessert should have come with its own set of go-go gadget arms to feed me.