I’ve recently come into the possession of several adult cooking appliances: one potato masher, crock pot, and Cuisinart Griddler. With the help of my two cookbooks, Rachael Ray’s Classic 30 Minute Meals (the one that features her in her obnoxious Yum-O! tee on the cover, shudder) and Giada DeLaurentiis’ EveryDay Pasta (the one whose photos expose her hefty bustline and mile-long cleavage in a revealing top….oh wait, that’s every Giada cookbook), I’ve been trying to up the cooking ante. And to add some recipes other than chili and pasta with butter or canned sauce to my repertoire.

Yep, you read that recipe correctly. Cheese, banana, ham…AND a list of other ingredients which are perfectly innocuous and delicious until combined to form this cracked out version of a savory/sweet bread pudding. Here they are (read at your own risk):

* Butter
* 12 slices white bread
* 8 large slices deli ham
* 4 bananas, sliced on the bias
* 2 cups shredded Cheddar
* 2 cups crushed potato chips
* 6 slices cooked and crumbled bacon
* 4 large eggs
* 1 cup milk
* 1 cup cream
* Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
* Salt and freshly ground black pepper

ready for eatin’

I could definitely see where Paula was going with this recipe, low brow as it may be. The bubbly, baked cheese and bacon pieces added crunch and saltiness; the banana sweetened anything with which it came into contact; and the heavy cream-and-butter-soaked layers enhanced the soppy texture synonymous with bread pudding. Though many bites I took were less than satisfying (pretty much anything the saccharine banana had encountered), I kept going back for more. I even went back for portion #2.

In my last cupcake post, I played the role of sluggish cupcake consumer. Other than shuffling down the sidewalk with a spring in my step that only cupcakes can induce, there was no physical effort put forth toward satisfying my sweet tooth. (Besides eating, which is actually like an Olympic event for me. I focus only on the food sitting before me and eat it with conviction and intensity, ignoring my surroundings and failing to participate in table talk.) Instead, I took advantage of the fruit (or cakes) of the labor of others who have more talent and patience than myself — like the dedicated bakers at Kickass Cupcakes.

This time, I took more initiative and attempted to bake the cupcakes myself, rather than relying on the expertise of the pros. Well, partly — my boyfriend nabbed the Red Velvet Cake and Cream Cheese Icing recipes from Allysa Torey’s More from Magnolia cookbook. (She’s the saint who founded Magnolia Bakery.) The cake recipe also functions for cupcakes.

The cupcakes were vibrant in color (we had to make 2 trips to the food store in order to fulfill the red food coloring quota) and very tasty. The icing was definitely my favorite part. Although the recipe suggests Creamy Vanilla Frosting, we decided to stir up the cream cheese alternative for a more traditional red velvet cupcake. It was smooth and creamy, yet still packed a fair amount of sweetness to enhance the subtle cocoa taste of the cake.

The cake part was decidedly less moist and fluffy than it is when eaten in-house at Magnolia. It wasn’t too dry or firm, but an outer layer of a slightly tougher consistency encased the dense, cakey inside. I think it’s impossible to emulate the buttery, pillow-like cupcake bottoms of Magnolia and Billy’s Bakery.

Even though I should probably just leave the pre-consumption part of the process to the experts, I would definitely make this recipe again. Not only are the cupcakes tasty and filling, but the excessive amount of crimson food coloring stains your hands blood-red and makes you feel like Chuck Norris after a heated streetfight.

Recipe for Red Velvet Cake, modified for cupcakes (from More from Magnolia by Allysa Torey)
3 1/3 cups cake flour (not self-rising)
3/4 cup unsalted butter
2 1/4 cups sugar
3 large eggs room temperature
6 tbsp red food coloring
3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
1 1/2 tsp cider vinegar
1 1/2 tsp baking soda

Cream Cheese Icing (also from More from Magnolia)
1 lb cream cheese, softened and cut into small pieces
6 tbsp unsalted butter, softened and cut into small pieces
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
5 cups sifted confectioners sugar

Cupcakes:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Fill cupcake trays with cupcake liners. In a small bowl, sift cake flour and set aside. In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar until very light and fluffy (about 5 min.). Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. In a small bowl, whisk together the red food coloring, cocoa, and vanilla. Add to the batter and beat well.

In a measuring cup, stir the salt into the buttermilk. Add to the batter in 3 parts, alternating with the flour. With each addition, beat until the ingredients are incorporated, but do not overbeat.

In a small bowl, stir together the vinegar and baking soda. Add to the batter and mix well. Using a rubber spatula scrape the batter from the sides of the bowl, making sure the ingredients are well-blended and the batter is smooth.

Divide the batter among the prepared pans. Bake for 20-23 minutes, or until a cake tester emerges clean from the center of the cupcakes. Remove from the pans and cool completely on a wire rack. When the cakes are cool, spread the frosting across the tops.

Icing:
In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese and butter until smooth, about 3 minutes. Add the vanilla and beat well. Gradually add the sugar, one cup at a time, beating continuously until smooth and creamy. Cover and refrigerate icing for 2-3 hours, but no longer, to thicken before using.

One of the very few downsides of studying abroad is missing out on family holidays. This weekend was Passover, which meant I could only visualize my favorite home-cooked meal of Matzoh ball soup, brisket and roasted potatoes topped with mushroom gravy, candied carrots, and coconut macaroons. Not only was my seat empty (or filled by one of my boorish younger cousins) at the dinner table this year, but I also had to forego the chaos and community of my family’s Seder. The root of the table’s disorder actually comes from the top of the family tree. My grandmother starts devouring her leaden potato kugel before it’s served and replaces the Hebrew words of the chant “di-ay-nu” with a more rhythmic combination of “la la la” and spastic clapping. I knew this unpredictable yet laid-back family atmosphere would be tough to top in Spain.

Lucky for me, my friends were hosting a taco night at their apartment this past Saturday. Margaritas, shredded cheese, and flour tortillas hardly recall the story of the Jews escaping ancient Egypt, but nonetheless, the evening was dedicated in part to Passover. I contributed charoset (recipe listed below), a Seder-plate staple of apples, walnuts, and wine which represents the mortar the Jews placed in between the bricks of the pyramids. While the Jewish-Mexican theme was a bit incongruous, the communal aspect of preparing a meal with a group of close friends was a perfectly memorable way to celebrate the holiday. The chaotic aspect, of course, was well-replicated with the aid of tart, tequila-laced margaritas.

The table was covered with pans of slightly spicy chop meat and beef, shredded cheddar, warmed flour tortillas, lettuce, cilantro-infused pico de gallo, fluffy rice, and refried and black beans. The meal was delicious, simple, and a nice change of pace from the paper-napkinned restaurant world. I’m sure Rabbi Jose (a name which questionably appears in my family’s Passover haggadahs) would have been quite proud of my obese burrito and side of sweet charoset on this year’s Passover.

Passover Charoset
3 apples, diced
1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts
1/2 cup red wine (the sweeter the better)
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tbsp. honey

Stir all the ingredients together in a big bowl until evenly mixed. (For a Mexican-themed Passover, serve alongside a glass of tequila.)

I asked my mother for this recipe when my friend was hosting a dinner party and I needed a quick and easy dessert to bring. I have yet to taste a brownie recipe which compares to this one. The process is just as speedy as making a mix, yet the flavor cannot be matched.

Ingredients:
2 sticks butter
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa (I like Ghirardelli brand)
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 cup flour
2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. salt
12 oz. semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and grease a 9″ x 13″ pan. Melt the butter and add the cocoa powder into a mixing bowl and stir until evenly mixed. Add the sugar and mix until there are no lumps. Next, add each egg one by one, stirring after each egg is added to the batter. Add the flour and combine thoroughly. The consistency of the mixture should retain enough thickness that it clings to the sides of the bowl. Next, add the vanilla, salt, and chocolate chips, and mix so that all the ingredients are evenly dispersed. Pour into the greased pan, and bake for 30 minutes. Then, sit back, eat as much batter as you can manage to scrape off the bowl, and be prepared to be blown away by rich chocolatey excellence.